Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The dad side of story

My existence in this world can be attributed to two individuals, my mom and my dad. Not that you are any different because the same applies to your existence also. But then I specially wanted to emphasize the importance of the dad side of it. In the subsequent text I will try to talk more about it.
To start with, we all are FCBs (Female Chauvinist Bitches) when it comes to talking and admiring about our moms. No discounts there. Even I am one of them who are the biggest fans of their moms but then that should not be the reason to completely ignore the dad side of it. Be it movies, songs, stories, poems or for that matter even news paper articles, moms always get the well deserved mention for giving birth and bringing up the child. But in the process of doing that we tend to forget the importance of dad side of the story. The very reason of writing this text is that I wanted to tell you as to how difficult being a dad is and how his role changes during the life time of a kid.

My dad was always a sweet charming personality but then he was a bit strict too when I was a kid. Being the younger kid, I was very close to my mom and all my demands, misdeeds, requests went to dad through mom. And most of them were fulfilled by dad. But still dad was strict when it came to studies, playing for long hours etc. And the reason behind that was he wanted me to utilize my time in a rather better way so that I could achieve something in life. As I grew up, he modified his role a bit. From being a protector he transformed more into a guide. By the time I was in my teen age he started supporting me in all my decisions. He rarely pushed his wishes on me. Rather he guided me as to what could be the possible implications of my steps. In fact in my case, he is the reason what I am today. He went extra mile to drop me to school, tuitions etc so that I don’t waste my energy in mundane affairs like driving etc. Once I was in engineering, he turned into a friend. Most of the times he used to be ears to all my crap and usually came up with supporting logics. The same continues when I joined the job and then subsequently MBA. He always supported what I wanted to do. A lot of times my decisions were extravagant and vague but then he taught me to believe in myself and do what I wanted to do. I have travelled a lot and he is one primary reason for that. Not just financially, but he used to be the one who always took the lead when I came with some idea to travel somewhere.

Enough of my dad. He is just awesome. I will rather try to answer one thought that we all always have in our minds. If our dads are so friendly, so supportive, why do they tend to be harsh sometimes or why do they push their thinking on us sometimes. To answer this, let us go back to the beginning of human race. Man’s role in the society was defined to be a hunter. He usually went out to the jungles to hunt in groups and returned back home with his share of the pie. Now when he went out, he used to interact with fellow men, he used to talk about family affairs of other hunters. His thought process developed based on the discussions that he mostly had with his fellow men. And when others talked about their good lives, their strong sons, their beautiful charming daughter, he wished that his own sons and daughters become like them as that was socially accepted form. Thought the social structure changed with time the basic thought process remained the same. We were born and brought up in the times when our dads used to be the sole money earners and moms used to be the home makers. Now dad’s interaction with fellow men, this time in office, about fellow men’s sons and daughters’ achievements started becoming the building block of his expectations from us. May be we can also name this to be the peer pressure. But then this very expectation became the primary reason of him being harsh on us at times or him becoming the decision makers for us at times. Most of the dads are like that only. But then they do ease of this pressure with time. They understand what their kids can do and what they can not.

I guess the most important thing is timing of actions in this case. A dad should be decision maker for a child, a guide for a teenager and a friend for the grown up. The important this is the time and the ease with which he changes his roles. The swiftly and timely he does that, the more you start loving and admiring him.